Marriage is a lifelong commitment between two people; however, there are instances when couples fight, disagree or even stop talking to each other for days, weeks or months. Relationships just don’t fall apart overnight, the little things accumulated over time until they become bigger problems. Communication is important to keep your marriage strong.
An expert on marriage counseling from Broomfield cites the following ways to become a better communicator.
Active Listening
Some spouses just hear their husbands or wives, but they don’t really listen. One pillar of a strong marriage is active listening. This helps you understand the root cause of your spouse’s problems. Show empathy when your spouse speaks; in some cases, they are not looking for a solution or answer, but just want someone to listen.
Show Genuine Interest
One way to keep your relationship strong is to show genuine interest in what your spouse has to say. This takes effort on either part and begins in the little things such as talking about movies and books your loved one has read and seen. Ask about their friends, ask them about their day.
Take a Positive Approach
Criticism is important, but many don’t want to hear it even from their spouses. Use positive words and approaches to reinforce behavior instead of telling your loved one don’t do this or don’t do that. This communication technique makes you empathetic to your spouse. Empathy is important to keep your marriage strong it allows you to understand them, whether they are using verbal or non-verbal cues.
Identify Principles in Arguments
Many couples make the mistake of finding middle ground when arguing. This leads to compromised bargaining position between spouses. They are both arguing from a position they don’t want to be in. Instead of this approach, try to identify principles about the cause of the argument. Directing the questions and anger toward your spouse worsens the situation. Focus on the principle and actual cause instead of the person.
Sometimes Doing Nothing Works
Escalation goes nowhere and can cause hurt that may take days, weeks or months to heal. In some cases, the best course of action is to do nothing or stay silent. If your emotions are getting the best of you, stop, think and stay quiet. Leave the room, the house or your neighborhood. Cool off before talking with your spouse again.
Make Contact
Simple gestures like hugs, pats on the back or shoulder, or others go a long way. These acts may mean more than any explanation you come up with. Take time to stop arguing and just hug or hold your partner after a fight.
Ask Questions
Even if you’ve been together for years (including dating), there might be things you have yet to learn about your significant other. Ask questions to show you are still interested in them after all those years together. The question can be as simple as asking them about their day.
These are ways to improve communication between you and your spouse. These make you more empathetic and understanding towards your loved one.
